Things that crack me up about Senegal

• Carrying water on my head.
• Huts.
• Being asked if I've ever been to a town called Harmony. It took me about three weeks to figure out this is the name of the fictional town in which the American soap opera 'Passions' is set.
• The fact that of all the television shows produced in America, 'Passions' and '24' are the ones upon which people base the majority of their perceptions of America.
• Non-verbal communication. For example, pointing to things with your tongue instead of your finger, and doing a gesture which resembles a short, clipped version of the chicken dance when you want to refuse to do something. It's funny enough seeing a little kid do this when a bigger child tries to take something away from him; it's all I can do to keep a straight face when my 31 year old brother does it while scowling and urging me to reject a marriage proposal from a 'sai-sai,' a Wolof word which means 'trouble.' (I think the closest American translation would be 'player,' as in, 'He's such a player,' or 'Don't hate the player, hate the game.')
• My growing obsession with an Argentinean soap opera dubbed in French called 'Muneca Brava.'
• Men wearing gellies to play soccer instead of cleats.
• The word 'weccit,' which means 'change,' as in 'Do you have change for 500 CFA?'
• Several members of my family spontaneously serenading me in an off key version of 'Happy Birthday.' 'Happy birthday, you you...'
• Senegalese dances. Particularly the one which consists of placing your hands on the ground and shaking your butt in the air.
• The word 'jayfonde.' I believe the literal translation is 'ghetto booty.'
• Pulaar radio shows.
• This probably makes me a horrible person, but I couldn't help laughing at the sight of my six year old brother walking bowlegged and holding his clothes away from his body after he was circumcised last week.
• My teenage sisters' determination to learn 'Baby Got Back' after I told them there was an American song about jayfonde. Right now they've gotten as far as, 'I lick bick buss an ah canna lye.'
• The odd and depressing familiarity of Marlboro billboards and Shell stations.
• The corruption of the French word 'chargeur' (cell phone charger) into 'sar-sar.'
• The fact that if I receive less than five marriage proposals in a seven day period, I'm having a slow week.
• My twelve year old brother wearing pale lavender shorts and a matching t-shirt with a picture of a teddy bear which says in English, 'When God made me, he was just showing off.'
• Rattling buckets of bolts emblazoned with the word, 'Alhamdillilah' (Praise Allah), with pictures of marabouts fixed to the front window and a picture of Madonna from the 'Like a Virgin' years fixed to the back. These white vans are what passes for public transportation in Senegal.
• Minicars. Imagine an ancient VW van, except instead of carrying six hippies, it carries about thirty Senegalese people. I'm not exaggerating with that number. The big white vans must carry sixty or seventy.
• Putting a sheep in a bag and strapping it on top of a rusty old station wagon to transport it over 300 kilometers.
• Television ads for tea starring Senegalese rappers.
• My aunts spending hours embroidering images of soda bottles with the Coca Cola logo or Fanta orange onto cheap white cloth to use as sheets.
• Me drawing a bird on my five year old sister's hand and her looking at it and saying 'coos!,' the Pulaar equivalent of 'shoo!,' specific to a chicken.
• The fact that there are different words for 'shoo' for different animals.
• Millet.
• Senegalese living rooms.
• Senegalese photographs. Let me just say these unsmiling portraits put drag make up to shame.
• The necessity of hanging your cell phone in a tree to get service.
• The question, 'Did you wake up?'
• The question, 'Are you breathing?'
• The presence of TV, cell phones, and stereos contrasted with women carrying water on their heads and cooking over a fire.
• The fact that I now think it's totally normal for frogs and lizards to use my room as a shortcut on their way to wherever it is they're going.
• The level of alarm the sound of lizards skittering across my tin roof inspires in me. (Less now that I've figured out what it is.)
• The necessity of barricading my doorway with my bike to prevent sheep from invading my room.
• People ordering six year olds to go to the market to buy them cigarettes.
• Sandstorms.
• Showering out of a bucket.
• My excitement over bucket shopping.
• Brightly colored striped plastic teapots people use to take water to the bathroom. Mine's pink and blue and I think of it as my sink, as I use it to wash my hands.
• My five year old sister thrusting her butt out at me and saying 'Woof am!' in an insistent tone. Apparently this means, 'Put me on your lap.' I had to have my aunt explain that one to me.
• Three tiny Senegalese girls between the ages of three and six simulating a Sumo wrestling match in their underwear at eleven o clock at night.
• My two year old cousin Abdul, singing 'L'amour, l'amour, ce n'est pas possible!' The song he's singing actually says, 'L'amour, l'amour, ce n'est pas facil,' which means, 'Love, love, it is not easy.' What makes this funny is the glee with which Abdul, who speaks only Pulaar, corrupts the French into, 'Love, love, it is not possible!'